Friday, August 14, 2020 14:28

Fuck Valentine’s Day! (Right In It’s Heart-Shaped Box)

February 14th, 2011

So, I’ve seen (on the Internet) and heard (here at work) a lot of sturm und drang over today’s “holiday” in all sorts of directions. They ranged from this entry’s title to “Valentine’s Day is a tool of our capitalistic overlords designed to pad the wallets of candy and card makers” all the way back to  the other extreme of “How dare you oppress my expression of undying love to my soul mate you miserable fucking wretch!”

And you know what?  They’re right.  Every single one of them, at least a little bit, despite seeming to be coming from diametrically opposed positions.

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The First Apology (of Many, I Am Sure)

December 31st, 2010

Hey, look, an apology post! Blog has been going for right at a month, and already I feel the need to explain why the scintillating commentary has trickled to a halt, like the last dribble of pus out of a lanced boil.

Sorry, you weren’t eating, were you?

Part of the reason, of course, falls directly on the shoulders of the holidays. Which is kind of ironic, considering what I was working on was an “I Hate The Holidays, Get The Fuck Over It!” post. As you might guess/expect, it was filled with various Ron-isms, like a turducken of profanity stuffed inside snark stuffed inside angst. It referenced sodomy with a rusty grapefruit spoon, claymation, The Grinch, Faith, Zooey Deschanel…  Mmmmm, Zooey Deschanel.

All in all, it was pretty fucking epic.

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December 13th, 2010

Okay, maybe that is a little bombastic. Perhaps a little over the top, even. All jobs are obviously not a lie, but boy, that sure makes a catchy headline, doesn’t it?  What I really meant to say was:

All jobs want you to lie to them!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy there, turbo. You’re casting a mighty big blanket there, aren’t you? I’m pretty sure by “all jobs” you really mean “a statistically significant amount of jobs.” But what did you mean about wanting you to lie to them?

And furthermore, why am I talking to myself? Perhaps I should expand upon my concept here.

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Micro Blog #001: Stop It, Hollywood

December 10th, 2010

(Welcome to the first of the Micro Blog posts! Originally I was going to post a post with Actual Content, but I ended up having to fix some blog related administrative issues first, so instead, you get this)

I saw a rumor that Hollywood is planning yet another Robin Hood movie, and Will Smith is listed as potentially playing the titular character.  This immediately brings two things to mind:

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(Crazy) People On A Train

December 7th, 2010

(This is the first of what I’ve labelled “Retro Blog” posts, which basically just means it’s something I wrote some time ago, on paper, and I’ve transcribed it for the blog. I decided to keep the tense how I originally wrote it.)

September 12, 2010 Sunday


That’s where this one starts, with waffles.  Shannon is home for a little while between stops on The Carefree Gypsy Roadshow, and I haven’t seen her for some time. Last night we were supposed to go bowling, but as the evening rolled on, we were both too tired to be arsed to actually go bowling. I was up medium early for a Sunday (re: before 9 am) and saw she was online. In the course of “Hey, how ya doing! Long time!” conversation, I mentioned I wanted chorizo. She countered with wanting waffles. And thus was the genesis of today’s adventure.

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The (Absolutely) Last First Post

November 29th, 2010

Do you know how many times I have written this “first” post? It is customary (if not an out and out requirement included when you agree to the End User License Agreement) that the very first post of a new blog be a post about that blog and the blog’s author/writer/keyboard monkey. Who am I, why am I blogging, why I chose the name for the blog I did, the kinds of posts you can expect, an amusing anecdote from my childhood, my shoe size, my favorite sexual position, Team Edward or Team Jacob…

Excuse me, sometimes I get carried away.  Hey, that might be a good name for the blog.

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